You’ve felt it, walked into a room, and thought, “I hope…isn’t here!” “I won’t attend that function because that person will be there.” You think about them and become enraged. You wish they would “get sand fleas,” as one friend long ago lamented. Your body tenses, your blood pressure goes up, as your mind recalls and watches the well-ingrained movie of what they did to you or your loved one. Maybe they hurt your child, and well, nobody hurts my child. You have to stay in control; you won’t actually do anything. The thought of jail is a good deterrent, or that’s just not who you are. Still, you pray to God that He will intervene. You beg God to stop them, remove them, save their soul- or not. It isn’t anger anymore; it has morphed into something worse, something diabolical. You need justice; you think about it much of the day. You are not easily distracted from the constant influx of thoughts about how they could get away with such horrible things. You refer to them as “my captor,” “my abuser,” “my rapist,” “the one who took my loved one,” and the list goes on and on. You have taken ownership of this monster, and its despicable behavior has taken control of your life.

Bitterness sets in, next comes high blood pressure and high cortisol. Over time, you develop an eating disorder, and diabetes is just around the corner, maybe it has already broken through and is making all of your life decisions. Sleep disappears, and you feel as if you will never get enough rest. The physical pain of depression and anxiety takes over as bitterness bolts you to the bottom of an ocean of impossibilities. Yes, your emotions have a direct connection to your physical health, and they can stop healing in its tracks. You don’t want to be this way, and you don’t have to stay where you are.

Wait, there’s more, yes, anger and bitterness have so much more to offer. They are the infomercial of all time for always bringing you more. Irritability and emotional outbursts toward those you love. That’s right, you get to take the pain of anger, bitterness, depression, and anxiety and pass it on. That sneaky disease is contagious. You don’t even know you are doing it, but the people you love do. Sometimes it rears its ugly head in the form of protection. You are determined that you are going to protect the ones you love from that monster, only to find you have become a different kind, but just as damaging a monster.

That’s right, anger becomes bitterness and then depression and anxiety. Anger steals your soul. Then it bleeds onto those around you, the people you are closest to. The cycle continues: you were hurt, then you hurt others. I joined Celebrate Recovery a few years ago and almost completed the twelve steps. That is another story for another day that I don’t mind sharing, but today, the folks I was with would say, “Hurt people hurt people.” They shared a constant reminder that a consequence of remaining hurt is hurting the people you love. You have a responsibility to heal.

My pastor used the phrase “The Joy of Forgiveness” in his sermon on Sunday. You’ll notice I reference Trent Stewart, pastor at Foothills Church, quite often. He will agree with me that he is far from perfect, but aren’t we all? We are broken vessels sharing in the greatest gift of forgiveness, grace, and mercy ever given. Maybe you have read the passage he was referencing in John 21, even though Peter had betrayed Jesus. He had gone back to fishing with what I can only believe was deep sorrow over Jesus' death and guilt over his decision to deny that he knew Jesus. Peter may not have known that he was already forgiven when Jesus showed up on the shore of that giant lake. He didn’t recognize Jesus’ voice. He did recognize the size of the net full of fish Jesus gave him. The Bible relates that as soon as Peter knew who it was, he wrapped up and went running to the one he had betrayed. I believe two things were going on here. Yes, Jesus forgave Peter. Jesus invited Peter back into the fold three times, the exact number of times Peter denied Jesus. What about Peter accepting that forgiveness? The release of the physical stress, the physical pain. The self-loathing that most of us would have felt if we failed our best and most loyal friend. What about that? The forgiveness that Jesus gave to Peter melted into a determined resolve to serve Jesus to the point of death. The tradition of the Catholic church teaches that Peter became the first pope. We also know from history that Peter was a changed man devoted to Christ, who gave Peter the forgiveness he desperately needed.

You can have the same thing. You can experience the confidence that causes you to run hard to the ones you have wronged. You know, the people you hurt because you were hurt? You can trade the irritability, fatigue, anger, hurt, lost sleep, bitterness, hopelessness, and overwhelm for peace and joy, and hope. You can give your body the opportunity to heal. I’m not a doctor, so I can’t promise you that all of your ailments will disappear, but I can tell you that the peace you can feel will help.

You don’t have to keep living with that monster “my abuser,” “my rapist,” “my captor,” and “my you fill in the blank.” This monster does not have to own you anymore. Based on what I have written so far, I hope you recognize that the ultimate physician is Jesus. He is the one who can bring you a level of peace no one can understand. The thing is, Jesus even healed people who didn’t follow him, and Accelerated Resolution Therapy works for everyone. Luke 17 tells us that. Think about that for a minute. He healed people who didn’t believe in him. I strongly recommend that you believe. Faith can take you places you could never imagine. If you don’t believe me, I am sitting here sitting still writing a blog for a website built by my brother for the business I started four years ago, and it is growing. Five years ago, if you could find some people, you could ask. I would have said there is no way in this world I would ever do that.

I’ve told you that you can heal. Accelerated Resolution Therapy changes lives. Bitterness is erased and hope is restored. The fatigue caused by that monster “my you fill in the blank,” dissipates. Your body relaxes. You may not be able to recall the last time you were that relaxed. The monster that has been haunting you for years leaves. That monster stops calling your name. You find sleep and restoration. You find hope for the future. You stop hurting the people you love. Let me repeat that, you stop hurting the people you love. People start saying, “You’re different, and it is in a good way.” Healthy people start wanting to be around you. The people you love stop walking on eggshells and start being honest with you. You start concentrating on your job again, and your mind is cleared of the never-ending rant about your pain. You can concentrate on reading a book or feel that fish on the end of your line. No matter who hurt you, the responsibility to heal falls on you. It’s time to click the free consult button above and talk with me. I am Vickie, a therapist in Maryville, TN, and I help people from Knoxville and the surrounding communities heal from their trauma and adverse life experiences. I can help you. Click the link at the top of the page, and schedule a time so we can talk.