The short answer: your body's fight-or-flight system doesn't always respond to a few silent words cried in desperation. That doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. It doesn’t mean that your faith is weak. It may mean you need to do some things differently.
Maybe you have heard that in the Bible we are told some form of "fear not" 365 times, one for every day of the year. I don't know if that is true or not. I have heard credible pastors say it's true. I have also heard credible pastors say that isn't accurate. Either way, it feels as if the statement causes me to feel guilt rather than providing comfort.
Guilty or not, you are miserable, and you wish it would just stop. You may not know what "it" is. You are worried. You are afraid you are doing something wrong and somehow disobeying God by feeling afraid. So you pray, and it doesn't help.
I remember the first time I went to take the test for my therapy license. I didn’t sleep the night before. Then, I was sitting in the testing center. My legs were bouncing all over the place. I was wringing my hands. My mouth was dry, and my mind was racing. You already figured it out. Anxiety got the best of me. I had to take the test a second time.
I had been praying for months. I had been studying for months. I had been out of school for ten years. It wasn’t until I realized the worst thing that was going to happen that I calmed down. I would have to take it again. I passed easily on my second attempt.
What does anxiety actually feel like?
Anxiety feels like your world is crashing to an end and there’s no off ramp. It feels as if your world is spinning out of control and will never stop. You know that feeling I’m talking about. Often, it’s worse than I just described. You can’t sleep. Maybe you go to sleep and wake up because your mind won’t quiet down. You just know you are afraid all of the time.
You feel like you are having a nervous breakdown even though no one ever defines that term. You can’t be still. Your mind won’t stop. You freak out every time someone you love does something you think might be a little dangerous.
Is it a sin to feel anxious?
Strong emotions are not sin. God gave all of us an anxiety response for a purpose, and it is useful. That response keeps us safe. Well, until it gets out of control. Then it controls us.
We were created to need a certain amount of healthy stress. If we don’t use our muscles, they get weak. We have to challenge ourselves physically. The same goes for our emotions and our intellect. We develop the ability to learn by learning. We develop the ability to manage emotions by experiencing emotions.
You already know that you can overwhelm your muscles and they will fail. Your emotions can become overwhelmed and fail you too. One of the ways emotions fail us is when anxiety gets out of control, like it did when my licensure test became an expensive practice test.
Our body responds to things that scare us by amping up and getting us ready to protect ourselves. Many times we think that is just for panic. That is not necessarily accurate. Those same responses are there to motivate us to work hard, do a good job, and succeed each day. The same chemicals in our body that make us motivated and feel purposeful sometimes get out of control and overwhelm us. One of the results of that overwhelm is worry.
When does anxiety become a disorder?
Your condition becomes an anxiety disorder when it starts interfering with your life regularly. My test anxiety cost me a test, but wasn’t at a disorder level because it was one test and I overcame it. If every test or most tests were so anxiety-provoking that I didn’t do as well as I could, then it would be a diagnosable problem.
Your mind won’t stop rehearsing things over and over again. The chemicals were supposed to make you smarter and quicker with your thinking and decision-making to protect you. Instead, they flood your mind with a conveyor belt of thoughts that runs faster and faster until everything falls apart.
Why does God stay quiet when you pray scared?
God doesn’t always immediately respond to the worry that we call prayer when we feel anxious. That’s what I was doing for that test the first time. I wasn’t really praying. I was worry praying. You know, I was really worrying about it and afraid. My thoughts went something like this: “God, I’m so scared I’m going to fail. Please don’t let me fail,” or “God, I hope I don’t fail. Please be there with me.”
The prayer is genuine and real. It is raw and honest. Still, He sometimes remains quiet and waits for a deeper surrender. He wants to take that experience and teach us dependence on a different level.
God can take away your anxiety and worry. He doesn’t always do it in a quick miraculous way. More often than not, He heals through our relationship with Him. His healing comes with our consistent and relentless pursuit of Him over time. He keeps His promise of giving you peace. He keeps the promise of His presence. He keeps those promises when we consistently welcome Him into our day-to-day life.
God is not a candy store God. We don’t get to run through all of the things we want in our mind, ask Him for them, and get them. He loves us and doesn’t want to spoil us. He measures His responses based on His determination of our need and what will help us be more responsible in our relationship with Him.
We know that when worry and anxiety take our focus from Him, then it has become sinful and interferes with our faith. We want the negative emotion gone. It isn’t what He wants for us. We can find the relief God wants for us. God can use your fear as a catalyst for faith.
God promises us peace. He states plainly that the fruit of the Spirit of God living in us includes peace (Galatians 5:22-23, ESV). Peace is the opposite of worry. He tells us what to do in the Bible. He shows us by His behavior.
You are not going to convince me that Jesus was not experiencing a ton of emotions, including anxiety, before He went to the cross (Mark 14:33-34, ESV). Especially the night before He was betrayed. He knew what was coming. He shut things down. He went to the garden. He prayed. He took His best friends. They slept. Sound familiar? I suspect you are wondering where your friends are. Jesus stopped concerning Himself with any other business and went to spend time with God.
The gospels are filled with some version of the phrase, Jesus went off alone to pray or The disciples found Jesus, and He was alone (Mark 1:35; Luke 5:16, ESV). There is a reason for that. He knew that God the Father’s will was all that mattered. Additionally, He was setting an example for us.
Jesus' first priority was God. I said to one of the pastors at my church that my relationship with God is the most important thing. He corrected me. It’s about Him. He is most important. Not even the relationship. Showing up in God's presence, acknowledging His role in your life consistently, routinely over time, is the beginning of your source for relief.
What actually helps when you are anxious?
Slowing down, breathing, thinking and orienting yourself to where you are usually helps with anxiety. There are other things to incorporate that can help. Bible reading is one of them. I like to ask my clients to start in Psalms when worry and anxiety are the problem.
The Psalmist gets it and is raw when he prays those songs to God. Secular therapists will tell you to look for things that are inspirational to fill your mind with. Paul tells us to think on things that are pure and right and lovely (Philippians 4:8, ESV).
Good secular therapists tell you to journal. I do that because I want to be a good therapist and I want to speak to clients who are not Bible believers.
I take journaling a couple of steps further. I ask my clients to word dump to God. Write down how you feel. Sometimes I describe it as it’s OK to have that three-year-old tantrum and tell God how you feel.
I remember when my daughter was very young, she would get angry with me. Maybe I shouldn’t out her here, but I will anyway. She is old enough now for it to be a little funny.
I would send her to her room. She would shut the door hard. Then, fully, loudly, vocally tell me what she really thought. She didn’t know I could hear. I never told her I could. She wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. She was trying to make sense of her emotions.
You need those conversations with a God who understands our needs far more than I could ever understand my daughter’s. Write it down, write it in a letter. Dispose of the letter by any means you choose; just be safe about it.
Get alone and talk out loud to Him. Tell Him what you need and how you feel. Some people don’t want to write it. Be like my daughter, say it.
Remember though, your body dumps energy into your muscles when you are anxious. The whole point is self-preservation. God made us that way. So, move your body.
Move with purpose. Move often and move until you are tired. Your body likely is already moving anyway. Give the movement a purpose. Go for a walk, ride a bike, swim, run, garden, knit, do something. Give the energy some place to go.
Worship is also rest and relieves our worry. Different people worship in different ways. Find your way. Maybe it is music. Get alone and make a joyful noise to the Lord.
I remember one time I was mowing the yard and thought sure I couldn’t be heard over the mower. I was singing hymns loudly. My son, being a teenager and acting like one, took the opportunity to critique my singing. My response was something like “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I wasn’t doing it for you.” Find your method of worship and worship loudly.
How do you know when it is time to get help?
You’ve done all of this stuff, and it still feels like the problem will never end. You feel like you can’t make it another day, and you want to give up. You just want to hide from the world, and it takes every ounce of energy you have to force yourself into your life. You need help. Sometimes you need to get help from a professional. Not only is it OK to get help. The Bible tells you to get help (Proverbs 11:14, ESV).
You may need someone to talk with. That would be me or another therapist. You may need medication to get the relief you need. I believe the existence of medication is one way God has shown mercy to all mankind. The Bible never tells us not to take full advantage of advances in science. Talk with your doctor.
I have learned a therapy technique called Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART). ART helps relieve anxiety (Storey et al., 2024). I have watched wrinkles from years of worry fall off faces as we worked through the lifelong buildup of bad stuff and let the pain of worry go. One of my favorite things to do is help people learn to manage worry and anxiety.
I am Vickie, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Maryville, TN, and I help people from Knoxville and the surrounding communities heal from their trauma and the bad stuff that happens.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does taking medication for anxiety mean my faith is weak?
No. Medication is not a faith failure, and needing it says nothing about how much you love God. The Bible never tells us to refuse advances in science. Talk with your doctor, and let the people who love you help you decide.
Can a Bible believer have an anxiety disorder?
Yes. An anxiety response is something God built into every human body to keep us safe, and like any part of the body it can get out of control. It becomes a disorder when it starts interfering with your life regularly, and that is a clinical question, not a measure of your faith.
How do I pray when I am too anxious to pray?
Start by telling God the truth about how scared you are. Worry praying is still praying, and He is not put off by it. Word dump to Him, out loud or on paper, and keep showing up over time. That consistency is where the relief starts.
Crisis Resource
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or go to your nearest emergency room. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
Clinical Content Disclaimer
All clinical content on this website is written or reviewed by Vickie Starkey, LMFT, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Tennessee since 2005 (License #579). Vickie holds a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Sociology from Carson-Newman College (1989) and a Master of Divinity in Psychology and Counseling from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary (1995), and is a Certified Master ART Practitioner since 2023. This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment. Verify my license here: https://internet.health.tn.gov/Licensure/
References
Storey, D. P., Marriott, E. C. S., & Rash, J. A. (2024). Accelerated resolution therapy for the treatment of PTSD in adults: A systematic review. PLOS Mental Health, 1(4), e0000123. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmen.0000123
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. (2001). Crossway.
