You know better than to put that thing away; you know you will never see it again. Losing things is just the tip of the iceberg. You can't stop what you are working on before it's finished. You know what I mean? You will never think of it again. The creative thought will be lost if you get distracted. Does it hurt to sit still? You know, an indescribable discomfort that makes you feel like you will explode if you don't move.
ADHD is a disorder of executive function and impulsivity. Those are big words used to acknowledge that you have what is often jokingly called CRS disease (Can't Remember Stuff) and to say that you frequently act before you think. I think it is safe to say that ADHD includes both memory difficulty and difficulty with self-control.
While many supposed experts get on social media and extol the superpowers and great qualities of those with ADHD, you can only think about the times you were told to be quiet and be still. You think about the clumsiness and all the times a teacher commented that you could do so much better if you would just try. You know you really were doing your best. No one ever understood the challenges that come with the inability to remember to do or turn in your homework.
A popular pastor recently released a reel in which he said that the role of the Holy Spirit is to bring to remembrance, and then it cut off. My mind immediately went to the ADHD memory struggle. Those with ADHD often have terrible short-term memory, and in a way similar to an infant, it is as if object permanence does not exist. When hyperfocusing on a project, the person with ADHD often feels anger or even rage over being interrupted. The reason for the rage is often related to memory failure and keen awareness that the interrupted thought is now lost in the abyss of ADHD forgetfulness, never to be found again.
The thought continued to develop: The Bible affirms that when the time comes, the Holy Spirit will bring to remembrance words and scripture to help you. There are many treatments for ADHD, the most popular of which is medication, and there is no reason to think poorly of these methods, even if they are sometimes less than helpful. Therapists wrap clients in coping skills and external structure to teach symptom management. While medication and coping skills offer relief, many wonder if there is a deeper source of healing. What if the answer to solving the problems associated with the God-given gift of ADHD is simply the presence of the Holy Spirit?
The Bible explicitly states that the presence of the Holy Spirit in the life of the believer produces fruit. What if you can get better? What if the two ADHD gremlins, lack of self-control and poor memory, were mitigated by your relationship with Jesus? These fruits developed just through relationship and surrender are listed as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Remembrance is listed elsewhere, but it is definitely present.
You may have read previously that the desirable qualities of ADHD are often overlooked and can be seen as a bit of a superpower. Folks with ADHD tend to be quicker of thought, funny, creative, intelligent, and resilient. The ADHD need for stimulation and excitement can become aggravation, and these unique traits are often lost in forgotten homework and aggravation from what has been commonly called attention-seeking behavior.
Christians are often taught to behave in certain ways to avoid sin. You've been taught, of course, to be kind and generous and helpful. You recall the impossible Ten Commandments, a reminder much like the rich young ruler that none of us are capable of actually achieving those things. The one who struggles with ADHD struggles more and needs more grace and forgiveness from people than the neurotypical people, who can remember what they were doing five minutes ago.
You may recall medication, coping skills, and external structure listed earlier as treatments for ADHD; each treatment offers some relief to help the sufferer achieve some semblance of normalcy. There is another treatment called Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) that helps process the trauma and emotional overwhelm often accompanying ADHD, allowing the brain to filter and prioritize thoughts more effectively. There is even a protocol to help with focus and memory. These techniques work well and are effective, but nothing can be more effective than complete reliance upon the Holy Spirit. You can get Accelerated Resolution Therapy at The Lion's Lamb Therapy, LLC, and to the best of my knowledge, that is the only place in Maryville or the surrounding area that offers it. You don't have to go it alone. You can improve and experience self-control. Click the link, schedule a phone call, and we can talk.
Disclaimer & Credentials
All clinical content on this website is written or reviewed by Vickie Starkey, LMFT, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist licensed in Tennessee since 2005 (License Number 579). This content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
"With over 20 years of experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Vickie Starkey provides thoughtful, trauma-informed care tailored to each client's needs."
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596
Barkley, R. A. (2015). Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: A handbook for diagnosis and treatment (4th ed.). Guilford Press.
New International Version Bible. (2011). Zondervan. (Original work published 1978)
Nadeau, K. G., Quinn, P. O., & Thomason, C. E. (2019). Understanding ADHD: A guide for adults. ADDitude Media.
