You catch yourself mad cleaning, yelling at someone inside your head. Nothing works. You can't even believe you have the energy to clean. You just feel dark, alone, and like you are dying inside. You show up at church every Sunday, or you used to. You used to teach and help. Maybe you still do. You believe in Jesus, sort of. You think you do. Sometimes you are just not so sure. He seems distant, or even absent. Your faith is weak and you aren't sure what to do next. You go through the motions, but so much has gone wrong. You thought you were doing it right, but the bottom fell out. Life fell apart. You fight hard; all you want is to help the people you love. You watch them hurt and your heart breaks. You can't let them see you cry. You try to fix it, make it better. You try no matter the cost to you.

Now, you are mad cleaning, feeling hopeless and wondering if it is worth it. You think, "I need something, what is it?" You cry out to God, "Where are you?" "How could you let this happen?" "I thought I was doing the right thing." "Will this ever end?" "What else are you going to take from me?" The list of questions goes on and on. You wonder if you need professional help. You wonder if you are having a nervous breakdown or if you are losing your mind. You wonder who to call. You don't want anybody at church to know how you feel. You might be the pastor, his wife, or the worship leader, and if they found out how you really feel…

Does Jesus Have Anything To Do With Counseling, And What Kind Of Professional Do You Need?

Therapy can help. Faith integrated into therapy can be life-changing. I am a licensed therapist, and I do believe that Jesus has everything to do with counseling and therapy. Showing up at church hasn't worked. Praying isn't working for you either. You have heard that therapists and counselors use techniques and have beliefs that are the opposite of what you believe. You know they will say, of course, your views are welcome here. You know better. You know that while God can use anyone, He expects you to stick to His words. Secular therapy can help and does quite often. I believe including Jesus makes therapy better.

Scripture teaches us that Jesus is present anywhere people are gathered in His name (Matthew 18:20, ESV). Imagine a therapy session where Jesus is present, and discipleship can fuel the relief that you need.

The Bible tells you to be filled with the Spirit, but you feel empty. Well maybe you feel full, full of junk, weighted down and heavy. Whatever it is, you don't know where to turn. Imagine feeling that peace that is beyond your understanding again. Sometimes you just need a little help, sometimes it feels like a mental health problem or an unexplainable oppression.

I know that while many licensed counselors and therapists will tell you that Jesus was good and that you can learn a lot from loving like He did, when you look closely, they do not see Jesus the same way you do. They don't see Jesus the same way I do either.

Silence in the Dark: Why Does God Feel Silent When You're Hurting?

Someone said that "the teacher is always silent during the test." I don't know who it was, but it rang loudly for me. As I sit here writing this, it's in this moment that I suddenly realize that if God is light, then the darkness we feel during a test makes sense. When God gets quiet, the lights go out too.

You believe Jesus is (yes, is, not was) both fully human and fully God. You don't understand it, but you believe it, most days anyway. You feel like Job when he was sitting there listening to everyone, even his wife, telling him to give up. I believe you might be a lot like Job. I'm not saying that God allowed an attack from the enemy just to prove you are faithful. However, John chapter 15 gives us another picture of why you may be experiencing so much silence and darkness.

What Does It Mean To Be Pruned?

John chapter 15 is a lesson from Jesus where He tells us that we get tested. The imagery used is that of being pruned. Much like a grapevine is pruned. Jesus offers two results of being pruned: either thrown into the fire and burned, or set to produce more fruit.

Jesus's answer to becoming a fruitful branch is to abide in Him. We live in a culture determined to destroy any opportunity we might have to "abide in Him." We run busy trying to make everyone around us happy and don't even slow down to wave at Jesus as we drive by.

I also think about how Jesus in Isaiah is described as Wonderful Counselor. People tell me that I am not like any other therapist or counselor they have had. I'm not always sure that is a compliment. Jesus truly is like no other counselor you have ever had. He does have the answers and can intervene for you in unimaginable ways.

Maybe you do some gardening and know about pruning; maybe you don't. Either way, I'm not sure you know about pruning grapes. When the Bible refers to a vine, most of the time the reference is to a grapevine. Have you ever seen a vineyard right after it was pruned? I have only seen pictures, but they tell me all I need to know.

The vines in the pictures I have seen are bare. I couldn't even see a place where branches used to be. You heard me correctly. There are NO branches left on those vines. Matter of fact, I think they even cut the vine back as well. I have chewed on the verses for over twenty years.

You've seen it. The friend who loses a spouse unexpectedly and then three weeks later they lose their job. The darkness sets in and over time, they know, reaching for divine intervention feels like their only option for survival.

Jesus indicated that all of the branches get cut. Maybe it is because of life's circumstances, or maybe rebellion brought you to the pruning, the separation, and the darkness. Regardless, you just know you are stuck in the dark.

The current common cultural teaching of people who only consider Jesus to be a good man or prophet is that He just wants us to love one another. Taken out of context, it's easy to say that. Jesus tells us over and over to love one another. He meant that, but consistently, before He tells you and me to love one another, He tells us to do something else. I believe that is the piece most of us miss. It's the piece I struggled with for so long. Before He tells you and me to love one another, He tells us to love Him first. He says to love God first.

He tells you and me to "abide in me." You and I miss that detail, we are to hang out with Him first. He is supposed to get our best time and our best effort to please. He tells us to do what He says. He tells us that when we hang out with Him and do what He says, He makes us clean.

See, you have been feeling dirty, dark, and junky. The test has been hard, the teacher is silent, and the lights are off. Regardless of the source of the pruning, you are at rock bottom. Jesus tells you to stick with Him, day in and day out, twenty-four seven, abide with Him.

Judas or Peter: Two Ways To Respond When You Fail

I believe there are two clearly visible examples of the vinedresser pruning branches very close to Jesus. One was burned in the fire (metaphorically, of course, well maybe not); the other, well let me just tell you, he bore fruit.

Let's talk about the first guy, even people who don't know much about the Bible know that calling someone Judas means they are a traitor. That's right, Judas, like you and me, betrayed Jesus. If you read Scripture closely, Judas's sin, I believe, was forgivable. Don't shut me down as a heretic just yet.

The betrayal is the problem, for sure, but what did Judas do once he realized his sin? Some believe that Judas was well-intentioned in trying to lead Jesus into the violent war of rebellion he believed would come from the messiah. The truth is, I don't know.

I just know what Judas did with his rebellion. Judas separated himself from Jesus. He returned to the enemy and tried to give their money back to them. He was sorry. I think it's safe to say the vinedresser cut Judas back to the vine. The decision Judas had to make was either hold on tight or run away. He ran away. He ran to the enemy for absolution, instead of Jesus. I think that might be one of the branches that ended up in the fire. I believe he would have been forgiven if he had repented.

In the Gospel according to John, chapter 18, just after Judas betrayed Jesus, Peter did the same thing. Peter betrayed Jesus after fully declaring that he would never betray Him. Peter was prepared to die for Jesus, well, until he wasn't. Peter's betrayal is more often called denial. He denied knowing Jesus three times, and the third time he adamantly swore that he did not know Jesus. Again, don't take my word for it; read it.

Peter realized his betrayal as well, exactly at the time Jesus told him he would. Peter made a different decision from Judas. Peter didn't run to the enemy for forgiveness. Peter ran to Jesus. I am confident that Peter spent some time in the dark those days. He ran to an empty tomb; he saw Jesus, but he felt the separation. He couldn't stay away. He wanted to be with the one he loved. He even ran to Jesus from out of his boat in chapter 21.

Maybe you don't know that Peter went on to lead the church, he wrote part of the Bible, and he gave his life proclaiming his loyalty to Jesus, the Son of God, the one Peter watched die to pay for Peter's betrayal. Peter understood abide.

Are you still wondering what Jesus has to do with counseling? Jesus has everything to do with counseling. The darkness, the heaviness, the feeling of being lost, and as if you are so tired you won't make it another day, you know that feeling? Peter and Judas both felt it. Judas ran to the enemy and then went out and hanged himself. Peter ran to the comforter, the shepherd, the one who spent three years teaching him how to live. You don't have to keep trying to survive another day. You don't have to die in the darkness. You get to spend time with Jesus.

Jesus, the Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6)

Jesus is the Counselor. It says so in Isaiah 9:6 (ESV). He is called the Wonderful Counselor. Where are you running to for your answers? Are you running to the enemy? Are you running to a world that acknowledges Jesus existed but degrades Him to the role of just another man?

Yes, it is possible that your brain is ill and you need medication. You may need medicine and to run to Jesus for rest, to listen, and to learn from Him just like Peter did.

More often than not, you and I take the world's approach and think we need to just love others. We are more concerned with getting the credit for doing something good. Sometimes, we are so busy loving other people that we forget to love Jesus first. It is during those times that you and I end up hurting the ones we love the most.

Jesus, the ultimate counselor, tells us to come to Him for rest. Peter made his first priority pleasing Jesus. Paul said in Galatians 1:10 (ESV) that if he were still a people pleaser, then he would not be a servant of Christ.

When you and I look to the world for approval or answers, we end up deeper into the dark. When God prunes us, the purpose is so we can latch onto the vine and grow the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. When you think about counseling, what are you looking for? Peace? Joy? Gentleness? Faithfulness? Love? You get my point, right?

The Wonderful Counselor will take those horrible times of darkness and pain in your life, and if you make Him your first priority, He will show up, make the fruit grow in the dark, and then turn the lights back on so the fruit can grow even more.

You can go to the world, to therapists who deny Jesus. Maybe you have read this and are thinking you don't believe in God or Jesus, and we are just here by happenstance. There are plenty of therapists and counselors in Maryville and Knoxville, TN, who will help you decrease your pain and increase your happiness.

You get to decide if you are going to live your life separated from God. Should you decide to see me, I will respect that choice and offer love and kindness and gentleness for a couple of reasons: first of all, because The Vinedresser, with a broken heart, respects that choice and secondly, how will you ever know how much He loves you, if I don't? After all, that is what He tells me to do: He tells me to love Him first, and to love you second.

I am Vickie, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Maryville, TN, and I help people from Knoxville and the surrounding communities heal from their trauma and the bad stuff that happens. I can help you. Click the link at the top of the page so we can talk. You can verify my license here: https://internet.health.tn.gov/Licensure/

Frequently Asked Questions

Can a Christian see a therapist?

Yes. Seeing a therapist doesn't mean setting your faith aside. God can work through good counseling, and a therapist who shares your beliefs can help you heal without asking you to empty your mind or leave Jesus at the door. Look for someone who welcomes your faith, not just tolerates it.

Do I need medication, or do I just need Jesus?

You may need both. Sometimes the brain needs medical help, and there is no shame in that. Running to Jesus for rest and getting the care your body needs are not enemies — they work together.

What makes faith-based counseling different?

The difference is who is welcome in the room. In faith-based counseling, Jesus is invited in, and healing is built on more than technique. You get sound clinical care and the freedom to bring your whole faith into the work.

How do I find a Christian therapist near Knoxville or Maryville, TN?

Start by asking whether a counselor simply allows your faith or actually shares it. You can verify any Tennessee therapist's license through the state before you book. If you're near Maryville or Knoxville, I'd be glad to talk with you.

Crisis Resources

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or go to your nearest emergency room. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

About the Author

All clinical content on this website is written or reviewed by Vickie Starkey, LMFT, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Tennessee since 2005 (License #579). Vickie holds a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Sociology from Carson-Newman College (1989) and a Master of Divinity in Psychology and Counseling from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary (1995), and is a Certified Master ART Practitioner since 2023. This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment. Verify my license here: https://internet.health.tn.gov/Licensure/

References

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV):

  • Matthew 18:20 (ESV)
  • John 15:1–17 (ESV)
  • Isaiah 9:6 (ESV)
  • Galatians 1:10 (ESV)
  • Galatians 5:22–23 (ESV)