SIFTED

You think of yourself as the rock of your family. You see yourself serving them, giving everything you have for them. You exhaust yourself doing everything you can to make them succeed. Every waking thought—and even your dreams—are about how you can help your loved ones. You’re not just afraid they will fail; you are terrified for them. You can’t imagine your own failure or that you would ever let them down. You have to stand strong, stand firm, and you can’t tolerate the thought of watching them hurt. You would do anything to make sure they succeed. You are willing to do whatever it takes to make sure everyone you love has the opportunity to succeed.

You do all of these things, everything you can, and you find yourself overwhelmed and exhausted. You realize that you are failing. They need more than you can ever give. You feel a certain amount of pride over your willingness to sacrifice. You know and believe that no one can love them as much as you do. You want desperately to help, to make their lives better, but you end up flat on your back, depressed, feeling hopeless, with no energy—maybe even feeling nothing except failure. Your loved one may even get upset with you for constantly trying to fix them, complaining that you are making them worse. There is hope, and there is a way to get back up.

THERE IS HOPE! You know your heart is pure and your motive is deep concern for the people you love. You know there must be a way to make a positive difference in their lives without ending up feeling half dead. There is a way you can care for your loved ones and be energized yourself. There is a way to feel whole, useful, and impactful toward the people you love. Your struggle is not in vain, but for now you just don’t know where to turn. You may not have all the answers, but you don’t have to give up. You need to recognize what is happening to you and what to do about it.

You feel that downward spiral and think it will never stop. You feel numb and angry at the same time. You feel depressed, as if darkness surrounds you and there is no hope of ever seeing the light. You are running on a failing autopilot system, heading for rock bottom fast and hard. You feel sifted, turned over to the enemy, forgotten by God. Maybe your faith teaches you that God doesn’t forget you, but He is quiet. You feel your world has shifted, become dark and silent, and you are alone in a den of lions, ready to be eaten alive. Followers of Jesus sometimes need to be reminded of Luke 22:31: “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat.” Job 1:1‑12 shows Satan asking to prove Job unfaithful. Even if you’re not a believer, 1 Peter 5:8 warns: “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” Regardless of belief, you feel like Satan’s lunch—you have been sifted.

THE SIFTING Thinking about being sifted may remind you of your mom making a cake, or you using a sifter yourself. You want the finest grains of flour and sugar, so you violently shake them through a sifter until they are torn apart, light, and fluffy. The clumps are no longer intact. Maybe you feel as if you are no longer intact. You have been tested, “put through the wringer.” Fear and anxiety have taken hold with a death grip. Sleep is a distant memory, and your mind just won’t shut up. Hope has gone, and the people you love are falling apart or running away from you. Darkness wells up and takes residence around you. You were sifted, and all you see is failure. Don’t misunderstand—your faith is still intact, even if you know about Jesus but don’t follow. You don’t understand; you just know you are in pieces. Remember, the purpose of sifting flour is to separate the useful from the bad. The clumps left in the sifter are the parts that are bad and need to be thrown out. The good gets through, and the parts that could be made good are made good and useful. You (or whoever you watched) look for the clumps that can be separated, roll them around until they fall apart and drop through the sifter, discarding what remains. Does this sound familiar? You lie in a messy heap, not sure what happened, wondering what will become of you.

THE REST OF THE STORY Your failure doesn’t have to be final! Your sifting doesn’t have to be the end of you! Job’s faith remained intact—he yelled at God, gained deeper understanding, and was blessed. Peter denied Jesus, was heartbroken, but was restored and became a great apostolic leader. You have been sifted to be put back together—stronger, more hopeful, more useful for God’s kingdom. God wants to use you to help the people you love. He wants to put you back together; let Him. Come see me and let’s talk more about it. I am Vickie, a counselor/therapist in Maryville, TN, and there is a road to redemption and restoration. We can walk it together.

ZEPHANIAH 3:17 – “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”